acting tough, looking unfazed

[abstracthalo]

 You know how they say when you realize you love someone you would do anything to protect them?

That’s how Jeff feels about Casey. If he had to put it in a meme form (damning Casey as he does so) it would be that meme of where “I’ve only known him for a few minutes but if something would happen to him I’d kill you” one.

Casey would be proud of him for being able to name a meme. Jeff feels his spine tingle just knowing that his rookie would be proud of something.

How’d he get to that point though? Well, it was hard to explain.

***

“Hi! My name is Casey. You can call me that or whatever. Guys in the locker room always call me Mitts though.”

Jeff shook his outstretched hand, smiling as he realized that this kid was basically word vomiting out of nerves.

“Skinner. Jeff. Pleased to meet you.”

Jeff looked at Casey and grinned. That seemed to get the kid to relax some.

Jeff continued to make his rounds, introducing himself to some of the players he didn’t already know from various events. He kept glancing back and he was convinced that he saw Casey watching him a few times. He shook it off, figuring that he was seeing things.

The media day continued on with everyone taking their head shots and doing the silly things in front of the camera that the social media team wanted. They were a little fun but were wearing him down.

As he headed back to the locker room to get changed into street clothes, he saw Casey leaning against the wall in the hallway.

“Hey! Would you want to get some dinner?”

Casey straightened out at Jeff inviting him out for food.

“Sure...what do you have in mind?”

“I was thinking Mexican? You could show me a decent place maybe?”

Casey grinned, tempted to make a Chipotle joke.

“Not Chipotle! I know you kids”

Jeff couldn’t help the infectious smile that graced his face once again.

“Kids? You’re not that old.”

Casey had a point, but Jeff was trying to ignore that part of him. It had been a long time since he felt attracted to a guy and Casey didn’t appear to be his type persay.

“Lead the way. I’m the newbie here.”

Casey bumped his shoulders against Jeffs.

“Well, I’m the rookie. I guess I could lead the way though. Since you insist.”

Casey guestured in front of him, signalling for Jeff to go in front of him.

They both walked into locker room and grabbed their things. Casey followed Jeff out to the parking area after they were done.

They both wordlessly climbed into their own cars and Jeff signalled for Casey to take the lead. He followed behind closely, making sure to keep an eye on where he was. They ended up at some Mexican place that looked like your typical hole in the wall restaurant.

The chips were good and the salsa was the right side of spicy. The tinny Reggaeton music was playing over the speakers and there was great company.

Casey ordered some massive burrito that took up the whole plate. Jeff had opted for some chicken and rice dish that had bacon in it. It was covered in cheese and he dumped a ton of guacamole on top of it.

“Can you even finish that?” Jeff teased, almost like it was a familiar conversation.

Casey blushed a deep shade of red.

“I’m going to try.” He responded, sounding slightly indigent. He had this determined look on his face.

By the end, he had about a third of the massive burrito left and was looking incredibly full.

“Just take the rest home. It’ll make a good after-game snack.” Jeff teased, knowing that he wouldn’t have bothered to attempt to eat that whole thing.

The whole meal felt familiar to Jeff. It was something like coming home after a long road trip, warm and relaxing.

He shook his head and grabbed for the bill. The wait staff had forgotten to split the check so Jeff just paid for the two of them. This was met with protests from Casey and Jeff was just the faster one to have a card out.

Once they were done and on their way out the door, Casey paused in the entryway.

“This was nice.”

Jeff smiled softly while Casey reached out to pull him in for a bro-hug. He went with the hug, noticing that it lingered a little longer than a normal bro-hug does. It was nice. Casey smelled like the soap that he used earlier after practice.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Casey inquired, tilting his head some.

“Yep!” Jeff flashed him one last smile as they walked to their separate cars.

On the drive home, Jeff let the evening tumble over in his head. It gave him comfort after a long day of being in a new place. He felt that it was like finding someone in a similar situation. New and scared of what was to come was fitting for both him and Casey. Plus, Casey was great company.

Deep down, he was afraid of what it all meant.

****
Pre-season went about how it normally does. Jeff was shuffled between a few lines, trying to spark some chemistry was what the coaches were telling him. He didn’t take it personal. He knew he had to find the right spark with the right people. The shuffling continued into the start of the season and then he found himself on the same line as Casey. Things were clicking and going wonderfully for him. Coach decided that they’d stay on the same line for a bit.

One night, Jeff realized that what he was feeling deep down was probably true. Someone boarded Casey from behind and Jeff saw red. He didn’t realize that he was going after someone a half foot taller than him. He just knew that Casey was hurt and he had to make the offender pay.

All he could think of is how Casey looked laying on the ice for that split second. It was enough to jar him and make him realize that he was being more than just protective.

The rest of the game was a blur to Jeff. He knew that the team lost and in the locker room there were rumblings about regrouping and how to be better. Jeff tuned them out and just focused in on his thoughts.

As he was leaving the locker room to get into his car, he heard Casey hollering his name across the parking lot.

He watched Casey jog to catch up to him and he groaned a little. Jeff really didn’t want to have this conversation here.

“What was that all about?” Casey inquired of Jeff.

“I just don’t like seeing people hurt.” Jeff responded, lying a little.

“Next time let someone else fight? I don’t want you getting hurt. Ok?”

Jeff nodded, not sure of what to make of that last question. He climbed into his car and sat there for a moment before putting the key in the ignition and turning it over.

His drive home was silent except for the low rumblings of his music. The music was mostly drowned out by his thoughts

What did Casey mean by not wanting him to get hurt? He could stand up for himself. Lord knows he’s been trying to fight for years now.

As he walked into the apartment he was renting for the season, he ditched his suit jacket over the back of a chair in the kitchenette.

He opened up his phone and started browsing the team group chat. It was mostly memes at this point so he just closed it down and got undressed, leaving bits of his suit throughout the apartment as he walked to the bedroom. He figured he could just pick it all up later.

When he woke the next morning, he fixed himself some quick breakfast and was scrolling through his social media accounts he caught some video and gifs of himself trying to fight. It was still funny to him in a sick and twisted way. That rolled around in his for a bit until he settled back in on the conversation from last night.

He knew he had to say something and do it soon. The worst that could happen is that he makes an ass of himself and just moves on at the end of the year.

***

Travelling to Arizona was routine. Jeff wasn’t looking forward to hotel beds for a week and half, but it was a chance to bond with the team some more. They took the rookies to Chuck-E-Cheese for some extra bonding and he had a blast. The guys joked that they could have gone to a Dave and Busters, but Chuck-E-Cheese was much more fun in the end.

Arizona was a fun game and Jeff was riding high. He got the assist on the rookie’s goal and he was generally happy to get a win. He figured replacing his thoughts with just sheer happiness was the best plan.

That plan was great until they played Vegas. That game was a shitshow from the jump. The boys couldn’t get anything going in their favor and the game was just chippy overall for no reason.

Jeff was struggling to keep the happy thoughts going and when he saw Casey get boarded yet again, he couldn’t help what came next.

To say he saw red would be an understatement.

When he was finally pulled away, he saw Casey glance over at him with a worried look on his face. Jeff flashed him a small smile and skated off to the bench.

After the game, Casey grabbed him by the shoulder in the locker room. He bent down and hissed in his ear.

“We need to talk”

Jeff nodded curtly and followed Casey into the hallway.

“What was that about?”

“Look, I can explain!”

They both exclaimed at the same time. Casey’s face had softened a bit and Jeff was glad for it.

“I can’t help feeling this weird way about you. This is more than just adopting a rookie and I’m sorry if this ruins things.”

Casey grinned, a little lopsided.

“Oh good. I thought I was going to have to spill my guts here.”

Jeff pulled him in for a hug.

“No guts spilling in the hallway Mittsy. How about over dinner when we get back home?”

Casey nodded and pulled away from the hug.

It felt like a promise for something better.